The theme of this year's #worldmentalhealthday is suicide prevention🧠🗣️🌍
Now I appreciate that mental health has been a growing topic of conversation over the last few years with numerous celebrities opening up about their experiences of depression and anxiety etc. However, it's all been under a false pretense of hope. Frankly, this notion of 'it gets better' just isn't true. If ever you've read through my blog then you know a lot of what I say preaches about the possibility of recovery. However, speaking from experience, recovery is not all it's cut out to be. This may go against the message we 'should' be spreading on this day of awareness, however I can't support false advertisement when it comes to mental illness- because blind hope is as bad as no hope at all.
Having battled with my mental health and suicidal thought for so long, I fully believe in my strength and ability to haul myself out of a ditch when I feel those dark thoughts take over. However, as soon as I find myself above ground again I know that I'm just waiting for the next boulder to trip me up.
Relapse. Recover. Repeat. This is my life and frankly I don't want it. So where do I go from here? I'm not giving up on myself- no way in hell! However I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the next 70 odd years trapped on this toxic roller coaster ride. I often feel like a ticking time bomb. I've taken and attempt on my life and I can promise you it doesn't do much good. Mental illness; I don't want it, but I've got it so I gotta learn to live with it.
After 6 years of recovery I have learned how to expertly manage my illnesses, however just because I'm no longer afraid of the dark, doesn't mean the dark no longer exists. It's not about 'how do we recover?', but rather 'how we cope with recovery?'
Some days I share genuine laughter with my friends. Other days I completely shut them out. Sometimes I'm filled with determination. Sometimes I can't imagine getting out of bed to face the world ever again. Unfortunately these past few weeks have been difficult for me and those dark, unhealthy thoughts have been rather prominent. I cry a lot. I get frustrated a lot. I feel worthless a lot.
While suicide is real and it sucks, suicidal thought is worse because it sticks around. Prevention of suicidal thought should start long before people end up in a state of crisis and continue on indefinitely to ensure such a state never arises.
Prevention must happen in schools, workplaces, families, friendship groups, local communities, GPs' surgeries...
We're all in this together. So offer an act of kindness towards a stranger. Check in with that friend you haven't heard from in a while. Appreciate those rare moments of genuine elation. We all have mental health.
Many of us have mental illness. Suicide prevention is so much more than unwrapping the rope from around our necks; it's about emitting kindness to ourselves and to others. 💗 Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today...because tomorrow may be too late.
COURAGE --- A xxx