'LOST LOVE' - #SlamPoetry

3am and, as sleep is intent in not visiting again tonight, I’m writing a poem about the love I recently lost…

Your smile is my favourite sight to see

Your arms are my favourite place to be

When I’m with you I finally believe

The the world’s not as dark as it seems to be

Your smile is infectious

Your smell is a drug

Your eyes are like beautiful stars from above

You know this is real

You know this is love

But all I can give you just isn’t enough

I’m sorry but I warned you right from the start

That loving me was incredibly hard

And still you let me give you my heart

And though you promised you wouldn’t, you tore it apart

I wish we could just go back to the start

Back to the start

Back to the start

Love is undeniably the most beautiful thing I’ve known

But it is also surprisingly the hardest thing I’ve known

One moment I had my soul mate

The next I was completely alone

I wonder were you that unhappy?

Well if you were it didn’t show

We promised forever and I don’t regret a day

Of the things that we said or the memories made

But there’s one more thing so precious I gave

Can I trust you to keep it, sacred and safe

In your heart, in your mind “forever and always”?

I know in my heart, there’s nobody else

I’d ever consider giving myself

It’s you and only you that I see

My one true love

My husband to be

Are you scared that I loved you just because I was lonely?

Never. I fell for you my darling because we are meant to be

You know it, you do, I see it in your eyes

When our bodies are together, everything feels right

Don’t shut us out

Don’t say that it’s wrong

You know in your gut where you truly belong

You promised me so many things oh so many times

Right up until the moment you left…so what, was that all a lie?

With you I was finally happy for the first time in my life

I can’t believe I trusted you when you said you’d always be mine

And yet, through it all I still love you the same

Don’t understand? Let me explain

Despite all the heartbreak

Despite all the pain

I know that no future love will ever be the same

If I had the choice I’d do it all over again

Every kiss and conversation

Infecting my brain

As much as I try to push them away

They always come back to me, stronger each day

And I know that I’ll never love anyone this way

Still think you’re worthless?

Please, think again

The nights are the hardest

I’m miss having you here

Reaching out for me and pulling me near

You held me so tight like you were scared I’d disappear

But I’ll tell you again you had nothing to fear

I’d never leave you

I thought that much was clear

What was it that we said to each other my dear?

I love you

I love you more

I love you more than that

I love you most

I love you more than you love me

I love you more than you’ll ever know

No

I guess it’s all pretty meaningless now

You’re moving on but I just don’t get how?

The life we were building, you tore it all down

In a matter of hours

You completely skipped town

Do you realise what we had?

Do you realise what we lost?

I know you’re running scared but do you realise the cost?

I’m gasping for air every night as I pray

for the screaming to stop but it never goes away

Even in my dreams I can see your face

Telling me we’ve lost something that can never be replaced

I used to smile every time that I heard your name

Now it only ever causes me pain

Do you miss me at all?

Or am I just insane

I’d give my life for you

But you don’t feel the same

At least

Not anymore

Did you ever? I don’t know

But no matter what the story I can never let you go

You captured my heart

You awakened my soul

And they are forever now under your control

Why would you make me believe I was safe

And then turn around and leave me this way

I gave you everything

There’s nothing left of me

And our love was more beautiful than I ever knew love could be

Remember the smiles

Remember the laughs

Remember the first night we couldn’t bare to be apart

Remember that time in the dead of night

When you cycled to me on your knackered push bike

To make sure I was safe when I was sad and alone

After you heard me crying down the end of the phone

It’s times like that where I remember you cared

And I’ll never give up on the love that we share

I’m not deluded, I know it’s still there

And don’t get me wrong, I know that you’re scared

Your head is a mess and you won’t let it bare

I understand

You’re struggling

Please, let me in

I can help you through the bad so the good can begin

‘You’re all I have to live for’

That’s what you said

‘If I didn’t find you, at 21 I’d be dead’

This time would be different, I’d support you instead

I wouldn’t pull you along as I raced on ahead

I know you say I didn’t but I did, I became obsessed

I was only trying to help you reach your very best

I can go on for pages but it won’t change a thing

You’ve made up your mind and in the state that you’re in

There’s no talking you round

No getting you to see

That the answer to it all lies in ‘you together with me’

I’ll be patient my love

I’ll give you your space

And though it tares me apart everyday I’ll embrace

the horrible situation we’ve found ourselves in

I’ll wait for you forever because I believe love will win

The only thing I beg of you now

Don’t move on with her or anyone else

You said you could never

And you swore that was true

So please, don’t make me lose the respect I hold for you

By going back on your word and finding a girl

Because if you ever did that you will have destroyed my world

Everything you told me, it would have been a lie

And that’s truly when I would say to the world my final goodbye……….

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Courage;

Alice xxx