3am and, as sleep is intent in not visiting again tonight, I’m writing a poem about the love I recently lost…
Your smile is my favourite sight to see
Your arms are my favourite place to be
When I’m with you I finally believe
The the world’s not as dark as it seems to be
Your smile is infectious
Your smell is a drug
Your eyes are like beautiful stars from above
You know this is real
You know this is love
But all I can give you just isn’t enough
I’m sorry but I warned you right from the start
That loving me was incredibly hard
And still you let me give you my heart
And though you promised you wouldn’t, you tore it apart
I wish we could just go back to the start
Back to the start
Back to the start
Love is undeniably the most beautiful thing I’ve known
But it is also surprisingly the hardest thing I’ve known
One moment I had my soul mate
The next I was completely alone
I wonder were you that unhappy?
Well if you were it didn’t show
We promised forever and I don’t regret a day
Of the things that we said or the memories made
But there’s one more thing so precious I gave
Can I trust you to keep it, sacred and safe
In your heart, in your mind “forever and always”?
I know in my heart, there’s nobody else
I’d ever consider giving myself
It’s you and only you that I see
My one true love
My husband to be
Are you scared that I loved you just because I was lonely?
Never. I fell for you my darling because we are meant to be
You know it, you do, I see it in your eyes
When our bodies are together, everything feels right
Don’t shut us out
Don’t say that it’s wrong
You know in your gut where you truly belong
You promised me so many things oh so many times
Right up until the moment you left…so what, was that all a lie?
With you I was finally happy for the first time in my life
I can’t believe I trusted you when you said you’d always be mine
And yet, through it all I still love you the same
Don’t understand? Let me explain
Despite all the heartbreak
Despite all the pain
I know that no future love will ever be the same
If I had the choice I’d do it all over again
Every kiss and conversation
Infecting my brain
As much as I try to push them away
They always come back to me, stronger each day
And I know that I’ll never love anyone this way
Still think you’re worthless?
Please, think again
The nights are the hardest
I’m miss having you here
Reaching out for me and pulling me near
You held me so tight like you were scared I’d disappear
But I’ll tell you again you had nothing to fear
I’d never leave you
I thought that much was clear
What was it that we said to each other my dear?
I love you
I love you more
I love you more than that
I love you most
I love you more than you love me
I love you more than you’ll ever know
No
I guess it’s all pretty meaningless now
You’re moving on but I just don’t get how?
The life we were building, you tore it all down
In a matter of hours
You completely skipped town
Do you realise what we had?
Do you realise what we lost?
I know you’re running scared but do you realise the cost?
I’m gasping for air every night as I pray
for the screaming to stop but it never goes away
Even in my dreams I can see your face
Telling me we’ve lost something that can never be replaced
I used to smile every time that I heard your name
Now it only ever causes me pain
Do you miss me at all?
Or am I just insane
I’d give my life for you
But you don’t feel the same
At least
Not anymore
Did you ever? I don’t know
But no matter what the story I can never let you go
You captured my heart
You awakened my soul
And they are forever now under your control
Why would you make me believe I was safe
And then turn around and leave me this way
I gave you everything
There’s nothing left of me
And our love was more beautiful than I ever knew love could be
Remember the smiles
Remember the laughs
Remember the first night we couldn’t bare to be apart
Remember that time in the dead of night
When you cycled to me on your knackered push bike
To make sure I was safe when I was sad and alone
After you heard me crying down the end of the phone
It’s times like that where I remember you cared
And I’ll never give up on the love that we share
I’m not deluded, I know it’s still there
And don’t get me wrong, I know that you’re scared
Your head is a mess and you won’t let it bare
I understand
You’re struggling
Please, let me in
I can help you through the bad so the good can begin
‘You’re all I have to live for’
That’s what you said
‘If I didn’t find you, at 21 I’d be dead’
This time would be different, I’d support you instead
I wouldn’t pull you along as I raced on ahead
I know you say I didn’t but I did, I became obsessed
I was only trying to help you reach your very best
I can go on for pages but it won’t change a thing
You’ve made up your mind and in the state that you’re in
There’s no talking you round
No getting you to see
That the answer to it all lies in ‘you together with me’
I’ll be patient my love
I’ll give you your space
And though it tares me apart everyday I’ll embrace
the horrible situation we’ve found ourselves in
I’ll wait for you forever because I believe love will win
The only thing I beg of you now
Don’t move on with her or anyone else
You said you could never
And you swore that was true
So please, don’t make me lose the respect I hold for you
By going back on your word and finding a girl
Because if you ever did that you will have destroyed my world
Everything you told me, it would have been a lie
And that’s truly when I would say to the world my final goodbye……….
Courage;
Alice xxx